Skip to main content

Day 1 Full Brain Radiation!


Thursday 11th Jan
YAY! Been looking forward to this day (well part of it anyway). Today I meet with Thomas Archer( our builder) to go through our house colour selection...... Probably one of the most fun things to do! I'm excited to see what our new home will look like. I'm excited to have a positive project to look forward to amongst all this madness and I want to see it built for my girls, we’re on strict time constraints. I loved the colour selection and I smashed it in record time because now I have my first radiation treatment!!!
On to the not so exciting part of my day. I was getting my head in the zone but it's tough, really tough. You get robed up and placed on to the radiation machine. They fit your head very snuggly into the machine with your customed made mask, so you can't move. Then the thoughts start flooding into your mind whilst they're doing their checks and balances ensuring all’s right. All I could think about is my family. I'm not ready to leave them. The girls are too young, it's not the life I had planned for them. What will Kane do with 3 girls? How will he manage? What will their life be like? I don't want to miss it, I want to be here.

OK it's time. They leave the room. It was really, really tough just to know what was about to happen, I was quite emotional. I cried through the mask….not dealing! The idea of whole brain radiation is too much to handle….burning my whole brain….FULL ON!!!


So for those who have followed my story, you'll know how music has played a massive part in my treatments etc to date??? Well listen to this.
So just as they started the radiation on my brain, no joke a Robbie Williams song came on, the light went on and the treatment started and he sang at exactly that point

"Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
I don't wanna die"
I don't know that song well so I made sure I paid attention to what it was. Freaked me out!!!
Anyway that made me sook it even more.
But then it was like the universe said OK enough for this poor chick, and then when I had my chest radiation done next a funky Stevie Wonder song came on so I could bop and I did
😊!!!
Tough day, really tough day, but bring on the next 9 sessions. I'm ready to kick it ass only way I know how
👠👠👠
Was so happy to come home and give my dolls a squeeze.
Despite all this I can still feel grateful, I’m grateful for the best friends, family and neighbours who are such a help for me. My gorgeous friend Gill who took the girls out to the beach the whole day....blessed!
Being home lifts me. I need the energy and love I feel.
We had a family sleepover that night..... That means everyone in our room. Seemed like a good idea until about 3am when Harper becomes an even bigger snuggler. Means not much sleep..... But lots of love and cuddles.
It was great and what I needed. I needed to soak up some love. Was a good night!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A week a go today!

So I've been meaning to write a blog for sometime now, but recent incidents have pushed me into action. This blog will be about the good and hard times of living with Stage IV lung cancer. It's not a downer but it's real.  I'm hoping to live as full a life as I can, and treat this disease as something I can manage and live my best possible life. I hope to share tales of the fun I have with my family as well as some of the struggles we face too. I've called it "Makeup and meds" because what you see is all an illusion. What you see on the outside may not be what's really going on deep within. Hope you follow me on this rollercoaster ride!!!! Fortunately for me I live in the best country in the world and have access to amazing medical treatment and medication that keeps me going, and fortunately for me I've always loved makeup and dressing up....so everyday I put on my face and start! I may look better than what's going on beneath but some

Guest Blogger; Kano; Magical memories amongst hard days

The 11th May was my last update after we had secured access to Osimertinib (Tagrisso) with the assistance of Professor Ben Solomon from Peter Mac.   On the 14th May, we met Assoc Professor Gary Richardson, who indicated that without a significant response to Tagrisso, Cassy would have ~1 month to live.  Telling our children that prognosis was the hardest thing we have ever done, it shocked and shattered them, they cried uncontrollably. It was just terrible, you actually hurt in your chest. We just held them. Cassy, as always, remained defiant and was so strong.  16th May we did an early birthday celebration for Kiara and went to LEGO Discovery Centre at Chadstone. We had an amazing time, topping out with Kiara getting the ‘Disney’ Castle as her 7th Birthday gift. She was so excited!!! We had Mexican at Fonda... to which Harper created her Parody “lightning and the Fonda” which we’ve been hearing ever since!  We remained hopeful and Cassy commenced the Tagrisso, howev

quick one .......update on biopsy......treatment going forward

Friday 15th March Yesterday I met with my oncologist for my second round of Chemotherapy and to get the results from my recent lung biopsy. The news was not what we were hoping......I am not positive for T790M and I have less pld -1 than originally thought. This means I am not a candidate for Tagrisso (which we were hoping for) and we have to see if  immunotherapy will still be as effective in the brain. What does this mean for me? - It means that I will continue with Chemotherapy and Immunotherapy as the best option for me. - I'll get an MRI on my whole body (including brain) in about 3 weeks (to see if its working in the brain since radiation and immunotherapy - I'm basically starting all over again....(12 weeks from now) - more pain from chemotherapy in cancer areas.  - May look at other EFGR treatments (should this not be effective) Have to say the information was tough to hear because I was preparing myself for coming out of this and starting to feel better, n