NOT ALL MAKEUP AND MEDS

24th March

Another short blog this week.

Been a really tough week.

My blog is called makeup and meds and it's perfect for this blog, because things may look good on the surface (makeup, meds, smiles, dressing up etc etc) but no one wants to see my head in a bucket vomiting everyday, no one wants to see Kane and I wake up each morning crying from bone pain at 5:30am because I can't move.
No one wants to see the 20+ meds I take each day just to get through.

Things may seem ok but we're just trying to get through each day as we can.

This week I had my cousins wedding (which I was so pleased to attend). Have to say was an absolute highlight for me, but killed me for the week.
I was so grateful to be there and see my gorgeous cousin get married. Was so grateful to be able to dress up and put makeup on, was so grateful to dance (we'll hold each other up) with my 88 yr grandfather's brother. Was so glad I got to go and stay the whole night and celebrate this amazing day with this gorgeous couple/family.
All these moments make it look like last week was cruisey.

It wasn't. Last week I had my head in a bucket since Saturday (yes even after I got home from the wedding, I vomited). I've lost 5kgs because I wasn't keeping any food down. Been managing to eat a couple of Clix crackers only to vomit them up minutes later.

This Thursday I had chemotherapy and it's knocked me around a lot. Been in bed a lot, sleeping heaps and trying to keep some food down.

People don't see that:
- I've lost my motor skills (can't write)
- brain hurts when people talk
- I have mucus in my eyes
- my mouth is furry and I have to prevent mouth ulcers
- I'm dizzy and can't really walk unaided
- radiation pain in my brain and chest is still very real , hope it goes soon
- were just trying to make do day to day
- lost my independence, haven't driven or walked anywhere since last year.

This means all the plans we have (ie Easter etc) are up in the air as we can't make plans.

Next week I have another treatment and I'm hoping it's a bit better than this week.

So there are still no visitors and things are still different at home (so proud of Kane and the girls dealing with things in their stride).

According to my Dr I'll be having chemo till at least May so will be feeling crappy till around Juneish!!!

But as we know things keep changing and I thought radiotherapy would be the end...... So it's definitely play it by ear.

We're just trying to make it through each day.

So yeah I post happy pics, because know one wants to see me with a head in bucket, or stuck in bed unable to move, but it's not all makeup and meds.

We still try to keep some normality for the kids and we're doing the best we can.

So proud of how my little family is dealing with it.
Thank you for all your help mum and putting up with my head and attitude. Couldn't do it without you 💕

Things aren't all bad. My girls make me smile each morning......speaking to me, telling me they love me through the door when I'm sleeping before they go to school. 

And I'm eternally grateful for all my gorgeous family who continue to cook for us to make things a bit simpler....love you

I'm also looking forward to kicking this and moving on with my life with my family and friends.

#kickitsass #lions #win #makeupandmeds

This is not a negative post....its just a real one. I do plan on winning and I will sooner rather than later because I'm over it already. 

Thank you to everyone for your messages of "Thinking about you" ,"You're in our thoughts" , lovehearts, just any little note to let me know you're thinking but don't require a reply when you know what we are going through. Thank you for your understanding, means more to us than you know xxxx